Thinking In The Past.

[:ja]”逃げる自由”

新しい本のタイトルは”逃げる自由”になった。前回が”諦める”だから、どんだけネガティブなんだと言われそうだが、それなりにこのタイトルにした理由がある。

人生は問題が山積みだ。スポーツの現場でも、引退して社会に出てからも問題に追い回されて時間がない、そういった声をよく聞く。確かに問題は山積みに見えるし、どこまでやっても解決するとも思えないほど大変だ。みんな必死で問題を解決すべく奔走しているにも関わらず問題はなかなか解決されない。

一方で落ち着いてみると、問題の解決の前に、その問題は本当に解決すべきものなのかをよく考える必要がある。こういう社会が望ましい、こんな人生を歩むべきだ、人はこうあるべきだ、がないと問題が存在しない。問題が問題として存在するためには、それを問題だと感じる価値観が必要になる。ところが、よく考えてみるとその価値観が本当に自分のうちから出てきた価値観かというとそれがあやしい。

人とは必ず仲良くしないといけないという価値観を持った人がいる。職場に厄介な性格の人がやってきた。みんな腫れ物を触るようにしているのが気になって、ちゃんと話せば分かり合えるはずとその人と一生懸命向き合おうとする。ところが、その人といくら話してもわかりあえないどころか、急に自分の悪口を周囲に漏らし始めた。やればやるほどドツボにはまる。一体自分が何をしたんだと怒りがこみ上げてくる。

問題を解決するコトは素晴らしい。厄介な性格の人が集団に入ると確かに問題を起こすコトも多い。映画や、漫画の中では、正義感の強い主人公がそういう人と本気でぶつかり合いついに分かり合って仲間になるという描写も多い。ところが、人生でそれがうまくいくコトもあるが、なかなかない。そして映画と違うのは、自分の人生の時間と能力には限りがあるというコトだ。

真面目な人は本当にそれは問題なのかを考える前ですら、すぐ解決に取り組んでしまう。または問題があるにも関わらず取り組んでいない自分を責めるようになる。そうして問題をいかに解決するかの為に毎日が埋め尽くされ、気がついたら自分が多くを背負ってしまっている。自分らしさ、あるべき社会。どんどん加速して”あるべき自分像と社会像”が、自分の中でも、他者の中でも確立されていく。そしてその姿にがんじがらめにされて、自由が制限されていく。

極論すれば逃げてもどうせ逃げ切れない。なにしろどこまでいっても自分は自分の人生を生きるしかないのだ。だったら、私は問題に出くわしてこんがらがってきた時、そこから一旦逃げて距離をおき、冷静に眺めるコトが必要だと思う。スポーツのスランプにおいて、本当の問題は実力の低下ではない。もうおしまいだという考えから自分が抜けられなくなるコトだ。そして、抜けられなくなるのは、目標のない選手ではない。”絶対にうまくやらなければならない”と思っている人ほど、うまくいかなかった時に、過剰に焦り過剰にはまる。どうでもいいものには人はそれほど追い込まれない。

逃げる自由という本で伝えたかったことは、現実との距離の取り方だ。そのために逃げるコトが必要なのだと思う。大丈夫いくら逃げても、どうせ自分からは逃げ切れない。逆に逃げてみたからこそ、一体自分が何に縛られていたかに気づくコトがあると思うのだ。

 [:en]”Freedom to Flee”

The title for my new book is called “Freedom to Flee”. Some of you may know that my last book was titled “The Power of Giving Up”, so you may think I am on some kind of negative spree. But I have my reasons for choosing this title.

Life is full of problems, in sports and in society alike. Some say that it’s almost like you’re constantly chased by problems and perpetually running out of time. It seems as though there is a never-ending pile of issues, and even though everyone seems to be running around trying to solve them, the end is nowhere to be seen.

However, taking a good look at the situation, one may start to wonder if there truly is an issue that requires solving. Before there can be an issue, there must be a belief as to how things should be: how society should be, how life should be, or how people should be. But where do these assumptions come from? And are they truly principles that you cannot change?

For example, let’s say a certain person believes that everyone should get along, and not doing so is unacceptable. One day, a new member joins her office and starts to cause problems. People start to avoid this new member but our character clings to her belief and feels that all that is needed is a heart-to-heart talk. She makes every effort, but she not only fails to resolve the issue, but finds that the new member is bad mouthing her. The harder she tries, the deeper she falls into a vicious cycle, until finally she feels completely frustrated and wonders how everything ended up so wrong.

Trying to solve a problem that is presented to you is commendable. And just like the new employee in our story, there often is someone who causes problems in groups. If this were a movie or a book, the main character, filled with compassion and conscience, would probably fight for peace and harmony and win over the troublemaker to finally create new friendships. But life is not always like that. Not only are we not superheroes, but we also have a limited amount of time and resources.

Going back to our example, what was the driving belief, and the related issue that presented itself? Our well-meaning protagonist mounted a serious-minded attack on an issue as soon as it presented itself, failing to consider whether the issue truly needed to be resolved. She also was inclined to blame herself for not acting or not doing enough. She spent her days trying to figure out the solution, only to find that she was the only one working on the problem and carrying the whole burden of that problem. Her image of who she should be, or of how society should be, escalated to one of an “ideal person and society”. This led to very little freedom.

And so, here belies the reasoning for my Fleeing tactic.
Of course, fleeing will not allow you to escape your issue. You are who you are, and will live your life accordingly. Which is exactly why I suggest that when you face an issue, step away. Give yourself some space to look at the issue from a distance and gain perspective. Here is another example based on my own experience as an athlete. When an athlete experiences a slump in their career, it’s not so much their body or skill that has actually declined, rather, they become trapped in the mindset that they are in a slump. And the ones that really get stuck in this mode are not those that lack a clear goal, but those that feel that their only option is to succeed. If you think about it, people rarely feel trapped about something they don’t feel an urgency to succeed at.

What I wanted to convey through my new book “Freedom to flee” is how you distance yourself from your current situation. Sometimes you just need to step away. By doing so you may find that you gain perspective not only on the problem, but about yourself. By fleeing the situation and giving yourself some space, you may find exactly what it was that has been trapping you all along.

 [:]